My 20-Year Journey to Transcendental Meditation
- Olga Kurak
- Jan 19
- 10 min read
Transcendental meditation came into my life after more than 20 years of trying to understand how meditation actually works. Over the years, I tried different techniques and ways of meditating — but I still felt that I didn’t really know how to meditate. What I was looking for was not spiritual experiences or enlightenment, but mental calm, clarity, and less noise in my head.
This is a story of how I came to transcendental meditation, how I learned it, and what it has brought into my daily life.
Table of Contents
My Early Experience With Meditation Before Transcendental Meditation
I first consciously thought about meditation more than 20 years ago. Back then, in the early 2000s, yoga culture in my city was just beginning to emerge: a married couple who had trained in an Indian ashram opened one of the first yoga studios. And at the end of every class, we meditated. The instructor would say to us, “Now let go of your thoughts and just relax.” After those words, the thoughts didn’t just fail to disappear — they came all at once with triple force, and the more I tried not to think about anything, the more they filled my head. I really enjoyed practicing yoga, but meditation just didn’t work for me. My goal was to reach “samadhi” — the highest state of meditative absorption, as our instructor explained to us.
That was how my long journey of studying meditation techniques and approaches began.
It was the early 2000s: I didn’t have a computer at home, and access to the internet was only at work (while studying at university, I was also working at a hotel reception desk) or in internet cafés. There was almost no information in Ukrainian about yoga or meditation online — mostly everything was in English, and some in Russian. I remember that in 2005, in Kyiv, at Petrivka — a well-known book market — I bought a large, colorful encyclopedia-style book about yoga. I remember carrying it in my hands onto the train, like a treasure, and I still keep this book to this day.
Information at that time had a completely different value than it does today, when we have access to any data within seconds simply through a mobile phone.
If I sum up everything I read about meditation back then, it all seemed incredibly simple: find a quiet place, relax, and let go of thoughts. I could find a quiet place, and sometimes I even managed to relax — especially after asanas — but stopping my thoughts was impossible. As soon as I ordered my thoughts to “go away,” they categorically refused to do so and became even more intrusive.
Several years passed like this. I would occasionally return to attempts at meditation during yoga classes, but in most cases I accepted the situation as it was: as soon as the teacher began the meditation, I would start planning my life in my head — thinking that it was better not to waste time if I couldn’t switch off my thoughts anyway.
Exploring Meditation Through YouTube and Guided Practices
Several years passed like this: YouTube was rapidly developing, the iPhone appeared, and over time — apps as well.
With YouTube, I began to meditate on my own; I liked listening to guided meditations.
Did I reach samadhi? Definitely not 🙂
I enjoyed listening to calm, meditative music and following the narrator’s instructions during meditation — in short, I was busy “doing” the meditation. My thoughts were tightly controlled, I tried to concentrate, and as a result inner tension was created; and when that control loosened, I would instantly plunge into a sea of thoughts.
All the meditations of that time that I tried — online, in yoga classes, or at retreats — had a “spiritual subtext”: finding one’s center, reconnecting with the divine, going beyond the physical, and so on.
My goal was a bit different: I didn’t want to live in the chaos of thoughts about the past or imagining every possible future scenario — I wanted to control my thoughts and manage my mental activity.
The Era of Meditation Apps: Headspace
It was 2012 or perhaps 2013. The era of apps was already in “full power,” and that was when I first heard about Headspace.
It’s interesting how I heard about this app 🙂
I’m not someone who fanatically follows movie or show-business celebrities or follows their advice or anything like that. But I do enjoy reading glossy magazines.
And it so happened that on my path of exploring meditation methods and techniques, it was well-known people who influenced my decisions.
The first was Emma Watson (Emma Watson, the star of the Harry Potter film series), who mentioned in one of her interviews that she uses the Headspace app for her meditation practice. Why did her words resonate with me? Because she said that this app made her experience easy, and she praised the founders for making the practice of mindfulness practical not only for spiritual seekers, but also for anyone looking for mental calm.
“Mental calm” — not samadhi, not union with the divine — that was exactly what I was looking to find.
I subscribed immediately.
The first thing: the voice of Andy Puddicombe, a former Buddhist monk and one of the app’s founders, captivates everyone. His calm tone has a magical calming effect 🙂
Then there was the simplicity of the practice: you choose a topic (reducing irritability or stress before an important event, increasing creativity, etc.), and a duration — from 1 minute to more than an hour. Interesting explanations of how the brain works, what works and what doesn’t in meditation, breathing techniques. Everything is very practical, without any “spiritual subtext” — exactly what I wanted.
Thanks to the explanations and the practice, at times I could slow down the flow of thoughts and occasionally relax.
But the feeling that I was meditating “incorrectly” never disappeared.
In the meantime, I tried other apps as well (Meditopia, Calm, InsightTimer, Tide, etc.), but I always returned to my Headspace.
So yes, sometimes with breaks of several months, I spent almost 10 years with Headspace.
Discovering Transcendental Meditation (TM Meditation)
I first heard about Transcendental Meditation in 2021. At that time, I was living in Kyiv, and at the Zhovten cinema they organized a film week dedicated to David Lynch.
In addition to screenings of his films, the organizers held events where they talked about his life and work and, of course, mentioned that he was a passionate supporter of Transcendental Meditation (TM), which he practiced for decades and considered a source of creative energy, calm, and clear thinking.
But at that time, this information didn’t resonate with me.
It’s 2025. My husband and I are watching the series The Leftovers, with Liv Tyler in one of the leading roles. We joke that she was his first teenage love after watching Stealing Beauty (1996) with her (if you haven’t seen it — my recommendation: an atmospheric film with beautiful Italian landscapes and an incredibly beautiful Liv). Against the backdrop of those conversations and jokes, I reread Liv’s autobiography, where it was mentioned that she practices Transcendental Meditation. I remember Lynch, and at that moment everything aligns — both Lynch and Liv, and the stars in the sky — and this time TM catches my attention. I want to understand in detail what this technique is. I search online, explore the official TM website, and watch a well-known video of David Lynch where he explains TM.
And I come to the conclusion that I want to learn this technique, because even after more than 20 years of studying different meditative practices, I believe that I still don’t know how to meditate.
What Is Transcendental Meditation and How TM Meditation Works
I won’t describe how and by whom TM was created. All of that can be found on Wikipedia.
But if we summarize it, Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a simple meditation technique practiced while sitting with eyes closed for about 20 minutes twice a day.
Key points:
a personal mantra is used, which is silently repeated during meditation
it does not require concentration, thought control, or visualization
the goal is a deep state of relaxation with maintained awareness
it is not a religion, but it has philosophical roots
it is taught only through certified instructors (for a fee)
What the creators of the technique promise:
reduced stress and anxiety
better sleep and focus
a sense of calm and clarity
How to Learn Transcendental Meditation
Despite the fact that there is a lot of information about this meditation technique on the internet, at the same time it is impossible to find any free training (at least I couldn’t find any). In my opinion, this adds value to the training itself. The algorithm is very clear and consistent if you want to learn this meditation properly:
1. Find an official instructor
To learn the technique, you need a certified teacher or a TM center. You can complete the training fully offline at a TM center, or choose a combined format: the first introductory session is an in-person meeting with a certified teacher, after which they give you access to the TM app, where you can complete the full training (4 days) online. A fully offline-only training option is not possible.
I faced the task of finding a certified teacher in Bali who spoke English and could teach me. I reviewed the official TM websites in Ukraine, the USA, and Indonesia. I assume that certified centers in any country can be found this way by adding the country abbreviation in front of the TM domain for the country you’re looking in. On each of these sites, there is a “how to learn” section.
There are many unofficial websites online offering training in this technique, but I decided to do everything through the official website. I was incredibly lucky, because among only 6 certified instructors in Indonesia, most of whom were in Jakarta, one instructor was in Bali. I contacted him. Wayan (that’s the teacher’s name) replied immediately, had an excellent level of English, lived a two-hour drive north of Uluwatu, and we arranged our first meeting.
2. Course payment
The training is paid (the price depends on the country and the format), but most often I came across the price of $750. The cost includes the training itself: a personal introductory lecture where you receive your mantra and basic information about TM, then access to the app where the remaining 4 days of online training take place (if you choose this format), as well as ongoing support after completing the course.
2. Mandatory introductory lecture, offline only
We met with Wayan. I filled out a questionnaire and signed various documents. Then he prayed and told me my mantra, which I am not allowed to disclose to anyone. It is a word that has no specific meaning; you simply use it to enter a meditative state. After that, he briefly explained TM, gave me access to the TM app where I was to complete the next 4 days of training, and we meditated a little; he answered my questions. All of this
took 1 hour.
3. Four days of training
Then, at home, I watched new videos every day in the app, where they explained to me how to:
use the mantra correctly
enter and exit meditation
understand what is “right” and what is not during practice
We messaged with Wayan every day; he asked how the training was going and whether anything was unclear to me. We also meditated together online several times.
4. Start meditating
Immediately after the introductory lecture with Wayan, he asked me to start meditating twice a day for 20 minutes, without waiting until I completed the entire course.
5. Support
After completing the training, I was given access to the entire TM app library with numerous videos, articles, and interviews, where I can always learn more about TM or return to the training course if I forget something. There are also group online meditations. Every hour, I can join a group meditation with people from all over the world. The teacher starts with a short introductory talk of about 5 minutes, touching on various topics, and then we meditate for 20 minutes.
I can also always contact Wayan if I need to clarify something about TM.
Life After Learning Transcendental Meditation
After completing the training, I meditate twice a day every day. In the morning — after I wake up. And sometime around four in the afternoon.
Does everything work perfectly?
No 🙂 Especially after lunch: we have three dogs that bark a lot, there’s construction nearby, someone might come by. And even if I’m distracted for a few minutes, I return and continue the meditation.
What did I realize?
There is no goal in meditation — only the path.
Thoughts will not disappear, and in the case of TM practice, it’s even good that they are there: it’s a sign that stress is being released.
The most important moment is your return to meditation.
What do I mean?
You meditate, repeat the mantra, and then, unnoticed, the mantra fades, thoughts begin to wander in your head, and at some point you realize that you’ve stopped meditating and gently return to the mantra again.
And a new cycle begins.
So you are not without thoughts the entire time, constantly repeating the mantra and controlling it so it doesn’t disappear. If you do that, the opposite happens — internal tension begins to build in the neck and shoulders, and it can even become physically uncomfortable to continue meditating. Everything should be easy, without effort, without excessive concentration or tension.
Mantra — mantra — mantra — mantra gradually fades, and thoughts appear — thoughts — thoughts. You notice that you’ve stopped repeating the mantra — return to the mantra — and so it goes in a cycle. At first, there will be many such repetitions; over time, there will be fewer.
During such cycles, I can enter a state where breathing slows down, the mind becomes empty, I stop feeling my body, and only a sudden deep breath brings me out of this state, which is called transcendental.
Do I enter this state often?
At the moment — no, but that doesn’t bother me.
Because the concept of “meditation quality” does not really exist in TM. Everything you do during it is correct. If you fall asleep during meditation — you sleep; if you want to change your posture — you change it; if you switch off for a while and drift into your thoughts — everything is right, everything is fine.
What Transcendental Meditation Gave Me
A system — these 20 minutes, twice a day, are mandatory in my daily ritual. Over these six months, my body and brain have gotten used to 40 minutes a day. TM meditation gives an influx of energy. Especially after lunch — it’s like a short afternoon nap after which you feel refreshed and full of energy.
There were no magical changes in my character or behavior 🙂, but I notice tension and stress inside much faster and take action more quickly to minimize their negative impact. And it’s also easier for me to concentrate.
At the very beginning of studying meditation, I wanted mental calm — not to live in the past or the future, but to be here and now — and TM helped me get a little closer to that state. But I am still in the process of improvement 🙂 Because, as I already wrote, there is no goal in meditation — only the path.
I hope it was interesting for you.
If you have any questions about TM, the training, or my experience — feel free to reach out, I’ll be happy to answer.
Thank you for reading 💛
Yours,
Olya